Chapter 250

Two weeks later, Tori was sitting in her usual spot on John and Carol’s back porch, smiling softly to herself at Peanut’s exercises while trying to decide what to do about his or her father. Richie had stepped up his campaign to win her back. Aside from the regular phone calls, she was now receiving little notes, and gifts, the house looked like Carol had the flower shop again, and if she’d eaten all the candy he’d sent she’d have gained twenty-five pounds! She did eat some of it – chocolate was one of the major food groups after all, and when it came in such beautiful forms – like kisses, heart shaped cup cakes and éclairs – she couldn’t resist. And he hadn’t forgotten her craving. Just the day before a box had arrived filled with a dozen little hearts made out of maple sugar. When she picked one up and studied the edges she was struck with the feeling that he had carved them himself.

The notes were short little missives. Some serious, some sweet, some downright corny. Things like For my sweetheart that came with the sugar. Her favourite was the one that came with flowers just the day before. A bouquet of kisses for my love…think about it. She looked at the flowers and laughed.

Carol frowned. “I don’t get it.”

Tori gestured toward the flowers. “Tulips. You know… two lips.”

Carol shook her head. “That boy’s always had a strange sense of humour.” But she was pleased to see Tori laugh again, and a bit of a sparkle back in her eyes.

The serious ones made the tears flow. A set of small chimes, that sang an almost mournful tune arrived with a note that said the sound in my heart since you left. The one that got to her the most was a postcard of Tico’s painting of a sunset that hung in the Philly condo. It reminded her of happier times. The note expressed her feelings as well. Everyday without you is another day without sunshine. Please let me feel your warmth again.

Tori sighed and absently rubbed her stomach. A big part of her wanted to give in and take him back, but the little voice in the back of her head warned her to be careful. A marriage without trust was no marriage at all. Suddenly a hard kick brought her out of her reverie. She jumped. “Ow! Peanut, take it easy on your poor mother.”

“He’s really growing.”

Her heart stopped then started again at double speed at the sound of his voice. Taking a deep breath she turned her head to look at him- and her eyes widened in shock. He looked like death warmed over. Part of her felt concern and sympathy. Part of her felt gratified that she wasn’t alone in her pain. “Yes.”

“Can I sit with you?”

“Okay.” She noticed as he stepped forward that he was carry a guitar. Damn! He’s bringing out the big guns. It’s hard to stand firm when he knows all my weaknesses.

Settling in the chair beside her, he set aside the guitar and reached out towards her, then stopped. “Can I?” She hesitated then nodded. He leaned closer and placed his hand on her stomach. “Hi Peanut.” There was a flurry of kicks.

The soft, yearning smile on Richie’s face had her fighting back tears. She sighed. “Why are you here Rich?”

“Because I wanted to see you. I needed to see you. And Peanut.” He reached out with his free hand and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I’ve missed you angel.”

She searched the depths of his dark eyes. “I’ve missed you too.”

“Can we get beyond this?”

“I don’t know Rich. I just don’t know.”

He studied her face for a long moment. “Do you remember when we were trying to decide the wording of our wedding invitations and our vows and we talked about what marriage was all about?” She nodded. “We talked about how even the best marriages had their ups and downs and…well…” He picked up the guitar. “…We agreed that this says it all.”


Life is a road
forever winding
where it leads us
I don't know
in it together
for better or worse
searching for our pot of gold.
Time
leaves a trail of broken hearts
so many arrows just keep missing
their mark
baby that ain't us.
Nothing else matters
when you're in it for love
together we can only go higher
you can reach any rainbow
you're dreaming of
nothing else matters at all
when you're in it for love, baby
Yeah
We'll share in the laughter
share in the tears
and the promises we keep
life can be crazy
love can be cruel
but it's always been a two way street
You try
and give it all you have to give
so many people don't know how to forgive
baby that ain't us.
Nothing else matters when you're in it for love
together we can only go higher
you can reach any rainbow
you're dreaming of
nothing else matters at all
when you're in it for love, baby.
You try
and give it all you have to give
so many people don't know how to forgive
baby that ain't us.
Nothing else matters
when you're in it for love together
we can only go higher
you can reach any rainbow
you're dreaming of
nothing else matters at all
when you're in it for love baby.
When you're in it for love baby
in it for love
When you're in it for love baby
When you're in it for love baby
When you're in it for love baby
in it for love.


He set aside the guitar and took both her hands in his, thumbs rubbing her knuckles. The fact that she was still wearing her wedding rings gave him a flicker of hope. His eyes caught and held hers, the anguish in the dark depths pleading. “I still believe that. Tori, I know I fucked up and hurt you. I will never be able to express how sorry I am for that. But if you let me I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. My world is cold and empty without you. The light has gone. I reach for you in the middle of the night only to feel cold sheets. I dream you’re home again only to wake up and feel the ache in my stomach increase when I realize that you’re not there. I hear footsteps and turn hoping to see you walk into the room, only to find that it was just my imagination. You are my heart and soul and I will do whatever it takes to convince you to return to your rightful place by my side. At the centre of my life. I love you!”

Tori was crying openly. “You lied to me Rich! You lied to me, and broke your promise to me! I love you, but I don’t know if I can ever trust you again! Marriage is also about being totally open and honest with each other, and I’m not sure you are being completely honest with me even now. I still feel like you’re holding back.”

“Will you give me a chance to prove myself to you? That’s all I’m asking for. A chance. Don’t shut me out of your life. Are you willing to do that?” He held his breath and waited for her answer.

The bruised part of her heart wanted to scream NO! Wanted to stay safe and protected, away from any chance of being hurt again. The other part of her heart wanted to give him the chance he was asking for, to take the risk and maybe..just maybe regain that happiness they had found in each other before Richie’s past came back to haunt them. She took a deep breath. “Okay. I’m not making any promises and I’m not coming home right now, but I won’t shut you out.”

He nodded. “We’ll take it slow. You decide what you’re ready for.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, his eyes glistening. “Thank you angel. You won’t be sorry. I promise.” One hand dropped to her belly again. “Can I hold you? Just for a little while?” After a moment she nodded. He helped her out of her chair and onto his lap. Closing her eyes she leaned against him and savoured the feel of his arms around her again, his warmth reaching out to her.