Chapter 270

A couple days later, Tori rushed into the studio. “Sorry I’m late. Ava fell and scraped her knee and Stevie slept late and threw his feeding schedule off.” She set Stevie’s carrier on a chair behind Shanks.

Richie frowned. “Is Bean okay?” He bent to kiss her, inhaled and barely stifled a groan. Teeth clenched, he moved to kiss his son.

“Yeah, she’s fine. Just a scrape.” She assured him as she set down the diaper bag and moved into the recording room to greet the guys.

Jon noticed Richie’s tension, but couldn’t see the cause of it – other than his wife’s proximity.

Tori walked over to where Jon was looking over his notes for the song they were working on. He handed her the lyrics. David joined them and stood reading over her shoulder. Suddenly she felt his nose in her neck.

“Damn Bela! You smell good enough to eat! What is that? Vanilla?”

She pushed him away. “We need to either get Karin out here or finish this album so that you can get home. You need to get laid!” Jon looked at Richie who didn’t look up from the guitar he was tuning. Tori shook her head. “Men!”

Jon waited until David had moved away before shifting closer and lowering his voice. “Yes he is and so is Richie. Don’t forget that.”

She frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“Richie and you. He’s a man. You’re a woman. His woman. His wife. And he loves you very much.”

“Yeah, and your point?”

“Four and half months is a long time to be.......hungry. In fact, it can be downright painful. That’s all I’m going to say. Just think about it.”

His wording and the insinuation in his tone following on the heels of David’s comments told Tori what he was talking about. She frowned. Had it really been that long? She looked over at Richie. Why hasn’t he said anything? It didn’t take much thought to find the answer to that one. He was waiting for her. He didn’t want to push her.

“Okay. Let’s get back to work.” Jon got everyone’s attention.

Tori found herself having to fight to focus on the job at hand. Everytime they stopped her thoughts turned to Richie.

“Tori, let’s try that again, but this time take it up half a step in the third chorus.” Jon instructed. When she didn’t respond he glanced over to see her staring in Richie’s direction. “Tori. TORI!”

She jerked. “What? Sorry. Up half a step in the third chorus. Got it.”


Back at the house, they ate dinner, then sprawled around the livingroom, to either watch T.V. or play a game. Ava, Tori, Hugh and David were playing Monopoly. David rolled the dice, moved his piece and groaned as Ava giggled.“Rich I think I know what Ava’s going to be when she grows up. A real estate tycoon. She’s cleaning me out!”

“You owe me $1500, Uncle Shirley. Pay up.” Ava held out her hand. When he didn’t hand over the money immediately, she thumbed her nose and put on a Jersey accent. “Am I goin to hafta send the boys ‘round to see ya?”

They all burst out laughing. Richie reached out to tug on her ponytail. “Somebody’s been watching too many movies.”

Ava shrugged. Tori snorted. “Growing up around you guys, what do you expect?”

After Ava went to bed, Tori fed Stevie and handed him to Richie. “The bassinet’s beside your chair if you want to lay him down.”

Richie smiled down into his son’s eyes. “Hi Peanut. You’re awake! You going to hang out with Daddy and your uncles for a bit?”

Tori smiled, went into the kitchen to get a drink, then slipped outside to sit in a lounge chair and think. Now that Jon had opened her eyes, a lot of things that had happened over the last few weeks took on a different meaning. The changes in Richie’s behaviour had been slight, but now loomed large in her mind. He still kissed her hello and goodbye, good morning and good night, but he didn’t prolong the physical contact like he used to. While he would share the couch with her, there was no cuddling to watch T.V. At night he would still hold her, but he’d taken to coming to bed after she was asleep, and would move away as soon as he woke up. She’d chalked it up to the guys being there and them sitting up late talking, and in the morning they were usually awakened by the baby, so she had to get up immediately too, but now she wasn’t so sure. In fact, she’d been so preoccupied with the baby and working through her own feelings over the whole fiasco, that she really hadn’t given much consideration to his feelings – at least in regards to his physical needs. Part of her felt guilty about that, but part of her – the larger part – argued that she wasn’t ready. If it had been any other man, she might have been, but not with him. Not.... with..... him. Their connection was too strong, too overwhelming. When they made love she lost all control. There was no him or her, just them. Their joined bodies, joined souls. It had been that way from the very beginning. But that kind of intimacy takes a huge amount of trust and she just didn’t have that right now. It was slowly getting better, but she wasn’t ready to take that leap. She was too scared. Scared of letting him get that close again. Scared of getting hurt again.

Sipping her drink, she sighed, rose and walked around the back yard. Was it fair to make Richie suffer because she wasn’t ready? Would denying him only push him to look elsewhere to fulfil his needs? Her eyes filled at the thought. The physical part of their relationship had always been so wonderful, so beautiful, so incredibly satisfying. And she was terrified that they’d never be able to get that back. That the closeness they’d shared, that she’d never felt with anyone else was gone forever.

She blew out a hiccupping breath and stared up at the stars. The only way to find out was to try, but she wasn’t sure she had the courage. But she knew she’d lose him if she didn’t. What happened to my nice, happy life? Other people manage to meet someone, fall in love, get married, have children and live happily ever after without their life turning into a soap opera, why can’t I? Why can’t things be like they used to be?

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and struggled to pull herself together. Enough with the pity party Tori! It’s time to fight. For your man, for your family, for your happiness. You knew this wasn’t going to be easy. But nothing good ever is. You can’t expect him to do all the work. You’ve got to meet him halfway. Time to step up to the plate. With new determination, she began to think of her options. If she couldn’t go the full distance right away, she at least needed to take a step or two towards the goal.

“Angel? Are you okay?”

At the sound of Richie’s voice, she quickly wiped away her tears before turning to face him. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You sure?” His dark eyes were shadowed with concern.

She nodded and managed a smile. “Yeah, I’m sure.” She hugged him briefly, then stepped away. “Just enjoying the night and thinking. Did you need something?” She inwardly grimaced at her own words.

He shook his head. “No, I just wondered where you’d gone.”

“I just needed a little ‘me’ time. And you guys didn’t need me around disrupting Peanut’s induction into the club.”

“What club?”

“The Jovi men’s club.”

He chuckled. “Most of that comes later...around puberty.”

She shook her head. “I shudder at the thought. Warn me when those lessons are going to start so that I can make sure that Ava and I are far, far away.” She yawned. “I think I’m going to go up to bed.”

“Okay. I’ll be up in a bit.”

She nodded. “I’ll take Peanut with me.”