Chapter 245

“How is she?” Dorothea asked her mother-in-law.

Carol sighed. “The doctor said that the baby is okay, but she’s worn out. But emotionally? She doesn’t want to talk, she just walks and sits for hours. She eats whatever I put in front of her, but it feels like I’m forcing her. I’d bet all of Jon’s money that if it wasn’t for the baby she wouldn’t eat at all. I don’t thing she’s sleeping much. Her normal spark is gone. John has even tried prodding her temper, but she won’t take the bait. It’s like she’s there, but she isn’t.”

Dorothea frowned. “Wow. She’s really depressed. I think I’ll come for a visit.”

“Good idea. Maybe you can get her to talk.”

An hour later Dorothea arrived with a body pillow. Carol directed her to where Tori was sitting on the back porch just staring into the distance.

“Hey there. How are you feeling?” Dorothea was shocked at the shell of a woman her sister-in-law had become.

Tori glanced up and managed a slight smile. “Not too bad.”

Dorothea decided that it was time to stop coddling her. “Bullshit. You look like hell. I brought you a body pillow. I remember what the last couple months were like, never being able to find a comfortable position to sleep. I found that the pillow really helped.”

“Thanks.” Tori looked down and rubbed her stomach.

“Peanut stretching?”

“Yeah. Feels like he’s trying to break out.”

They were silent for a few minutes then Dorothea sighed. “Tell me what happened.”

Tori shrugged. “He went back to Heather.”

“What do you mean by that?” Tori shrugged again. “Tori tell me everything. You need to talk about it, it’s eating you alive.”

This time it was Tori who sighed. “Apparently Heather’s therapy is working and she’s feeling much better. So much better in fact, that she’s realized what a huge mistake she made when she filed for divorce. She admits that she treated him badly and never gave him a chance to try and work through their problems. Basically, she wants him back. She wants to try again.”

“And Richie?”

“He’s been spending the last three months or so trying to decide which one of us he wants to be with….or so he tells me. He told me he was having problems with a song he was writing, and was going for a drive to clear his head, but he was actually going to see Heather. If I questioned him on his absence, he’d snap at me, then do something wonderful or romantic to try to make up for it.”

“That’s not like Richie.”

“I didn’t know that. I’d never been through album prep with them before. I bought the excuses.”

“You don’t believe that he was trying to decided between the two of you?”

Tori shrugged. “Maybe. To be honest, I don’t know what to believe anymore. I’m wondering if this whole relationship has been a farce from the beginning.”

Dorothea frowned. “To what end?”

“A child.”

“What makes you say that?” Dorothea was shocked.

“When I asked him if he’d made a decision, he said ‘I’m here aren’t I’. Then I asked him if it wasn’t for Peanut, would he still be here, and he said he didn’t know. Let’s face it, I’m not his usual type. I’m not blonde, I’m not built like a model….so what attracted him to me? Oh he’s given me all kinds of bullshit about being ‘real’ and caring and loving….”

“And you disagree with all of that?”

“No, I was raised to be that way. But I’m not convinced that any of that was the determining factor. We all know how badly he wants another child. Heather wasn’t prepared to give him one. I was.”

Dorothea shook her head. “Is that what you really think?” Tori shrugged. “Okay Tori enough of the pity party. You’re better than that.”

Tori’s head snapped up. “You think I’m wrong?”

“I know you’re wrong. Tori, whatever may be going through his head about Heather, he loves you. I’ve known him for twenty-five years, and I’ve never seen him care about anyone the way he cares about you.”

“Then why did he pick her? I did everything I could think of to make him happy, to get him to choose me, but it wasn’t enough.” Tears streamed down her face. “What does she have that I don’t? What’s wrong with me? Why wasn’t I good enough for him?”

Dorothea sighed and took Tori in her arms, her mind racing with various ways of inflicting serious injury on her brother-in-law. “Nothing’s wrong with you. I don’t know what he sees in her. And frankly, you’re too good for him.” She shook Tori lightly. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to him and if he’s too blind to see that, it’s his loss.” When Tori remained silent, her voice became firmer. “Tori, snap out of it! You’re a Bongiovi, and beyond that you’re a strong, independent woman. You don’t need him. You’ve got a job I thought you loved, a family who loves you and will support you in anyway you need. You are not alone. If Richie wants to be a stupid asshole, let him. But don’t let him drag you down with him. You’ve got a child to think about now. Sitting here wallowing in self pity isn’t helping anyone and is hurting you and putting the baby at risk. It’s time to pull yourself together and get on with your life.”

Tori blew out a breath. “I’m not sure I can.”

“Bullshit! Are you just going to roll over and play dead? Are you going to let him take everything from you? Is that the kind of example you want to set for your child? That’s not the Tori I know. The Tori I know would tell anyone who treated her like he has to go fuck himself and then show him that she could live just fine without him. Live Tori, not just exist.” Deciding she’d done all she could for the momet, Dorothea stood. “Don’t let him beat you Tori. Don’t let her beat you.You’re three times the woman she is. Show him exactly what he’s throwing away.”

Tori looked up at her, a small spark in the dark blue depths of her otherwise dull eyes. Standing, she hugged her. “Thank you.”

Dorothea nodded. “Make sure you call us if you need anything.”

“I will.”


Jon looked up at the slamming of the front door and watched his wife storm into the room and pick up the phone.

“Are the kids home yet?” Her voice was hard and full of anger.

“No.” He waited to see who was going to be on the receiving end of her temper.

“Good. They shouldn’t hear this.” When the call was answered, she cut loose. “Do you know what you are Sambora?”

Richie sighed. “A fucking son of a bitch?”

“I was going to say a stupid fucking asshole, but son of a bitch works. Do you have any idea what you’ve done to her? Do you care?”

“Yes I care! And I’ve got a pretty good idea what I’ve done.”

“Do you? Do you really? She thinks that your whole relationship was just some elaborate plan on your part to get another child. Since Heather wouldn’t give you one, you went out and found someone who would. And now that Heather wants you back, and there’s a baby on the way, you’re throwing Tori to the side. You’ve gotten what you wanted from her. I HOPE YOU’RE FUCKING PLEASED WITH YOURSELF!” She started to pace in her agitation. Jon sat frozen, feeling his temper rise with every word.

“SHIT! That’s what I was afraid she meant. Jesus! I love her! How could she think that all I wanted her for was to give me a child?”

“What the hell was she supposed to think when almost as soon as she gets pregnant you start screwing around with your ex-wife, trying to decide which one you want to be with – like there should be any question! – and then when she asks if you’d still be around if it wasn’t for the baby you tell her YOU DON’T KNOW?!! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT Richie?” She let out a frustrated growl. “God I wish you were here. I’d drop kick you into next week!”

Richie groaned. “You can’t make me feel any worse than I already do.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Dot, I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt her.”

“Well you sure have a strange way of showing it.”

“I know. I know I’ve fucked up big time. The comment about whether I’d still be around if it wasn’t for Peanut….I was trying to be honest. I couldn’t separate the two of them. To my mind, my choice was between Heather and Tori and Peanut. I hadn’t given any consideration to a choice between Heather and Tori.”

“There shouldn’t even be consideration of a choice at all! Why would you even have to think about it for three seconds, let alone three months?!”

“I don’t know how to explain it Dot. Heather seemed to be so much better…different. She was my first real love, and I loved her for a long time. If I stayed with Tori without being sure of my feelings for a healthy Heather, I would always wonder, if it was the depression that caused the problems in our marriage, if we could have made it if she was healthy. And that wouldn’t be fair to Tori.”

“And screwing around with Heather behind her back was? You’d better come up with a better explanation than that! Talk about lame excuses! And so what if Heather’s healthy? You’re married to Tori now. Heather’s in the past. After everything she put you through how can you even think of her any other way?”

“For the record, I didn’t sleep with Heather. But, I’ll agree that meeting with her without talking to Tori about it was a pretty rotten thing to do. As for the rest….I know it sounds horrible, but I don’t know how else to explain it.”

“So you let the best thing that’s ever happened to you walk out the door? HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID?”

Richie winced. “I know, I know, IKNOW! Dot, believe me I know. If I could do it over I never would have let her walk out that door. But she was upset, and I didn’t want to make it worse. You may not believe me – and she probably won’t either – but I was thinking about her well being. Her and the baby. I thought I’d wait until she’d calmed down, then talk to her. But she left and now she won’t talk to me. Dot…I love her. I miss her….I’d do anything to take it all back. I’ll do anything to have her back again.”

She snorted. “Well you’re going to need a miracle. You’ve broken her heart…and her trust. If it were me, I wouldn’t believe anything you said.”

“I know. But I have to have faith. I have to. I love her. I have to try.”

“Hurt her again and I’ll have your guts for garters, and your head for a punching bag.”

“Warning noted.”

Jon watched her hang up the phone and sigh. “What happened to abiding by Tori’s wishes and not taking sides?”

Dark eyes flashed his way. “That was before I saw her and the condition she’s in.” She stomped off towards the gym.

Jon followed her and watched for several minutes while she beat on the bag with a flurry of punches and kicks. “She’s that bad?”

“Jon, I didn’t recognize her. She’s pale, her eyes are sunken with black circles…but worst of all, she had no….life… in her…no.. fight. She wasn’t the Tori we all know.” Her eyes filled.

He wrapped her in his arms. “She’ll be okay. We’ll make sure of that.” He rubbed her back. “Are you sure I can’t go beat the crap out of him?”

She leaned back, smiling when he kissed her. “You’re sister wouldn’t like that.” Turning she kicked the bag again. At his questioning look she grinned. “She didn’t say I couldn’t hurt him.”